Recently, on Twitter I do only RT of political, or (rather) social tweets except throwing drawings (however it's due to just this fucking world), so you might think wtf is this acc (or am I, actually, always so?) So I will write something that I have no chance to tweet here. Or rather, I'm gonna talk about me.
Personal events
Since about first of this year or last of late year, I have kinda changes in around me. Because of that, and some another reasons, I feel like became to a being that its own existence doesn't matter for itself, so now I feel so good in sense of mental health. When anyone has a conscious of some kinda image or something that they can't allow, they always have to be obsessed like 'If I relax, then I become to such existence?' I guess, and now I'm free from such mindset maybe. Though, at first, such anxiety isn't completely evil. Well, ultimately such changement came from some influences of "Being and Nothingness" of Sartre.
Of my perspective in TH
My first play of TH, is when I was in upper grades of elementary school. At the time, the latest title was DDC or LoLK (well I wasn't conscious that situation maybe). I bought Imperishable Night (well, I wasn't conscious also engish subtitle absolutely), and playing on my junky note PC. Might be, I could see stage 5 in EASY painfully. Then I take distance from TH for quite long time, and into the period of feeding complex feelings against nerdish expressions, and obsession of 20th century. In the season, I drew fanarts mainly on Dragon Quest, then iM@sCG, and another works. Then, in about first summer (rainy season in Japan) of 2024, which I kinda fevered in Samurai Spirits (eng:Samurai Shoudown), I suddenly thought about to enter the Imperishable Night again. And then, I soaken in This phantasm, instead of just a nostalgia. That is my history with TH in too much theatrical tone. In my age of elementary student I was a Painful nerdish kid I guess, but at the time, I was living in mountainous countryside which had good nature and depopulation, so my perspective on Gensokyo was kinda different with city kids' maybe. After re-entry of the paradise, my shame of my lack of intelligence became to almost unbearable, so I wanted to read more books, and then now a drawing pedantic lunatic is here. Thus, for such, I would be fair to say I quite influenced by TH?
Fanarts, Fanons and Characters
For long time I thought about relation of so-called style of an artist and a character which be represented beyond the style, also could be called draw-drawn relationship, anyways such ideas. Although such action of thoughts was nothing but mortification I guess, now I think, When we draw fanart, we not better to think the canon as something so much matter. I like to mean, we shouldn't to want something so theatrical in any work, and better to just passively take such feelings. In otehr words, need to restrict the whole work in whole world so-called reality that has myself as central point at first, then engage to it too closely. Because, everyone often said like 'look reality' and sounds like mean nothing but 'defeat to the world which is only objective' or something, and I hate such attitude. Especially, any nerd falls to such mindset is pissing me off. Such reality is just capitalist, consumerist society based pperspective, not? So it's just another biased vision, yet some kind of masochists, suffered by such and think it's Reality? Such perversion polluting not only masses mentals but fictions too I guess. 'Nerdish culture must be counter culture' and 'Object of nerdish mind must be not nerdish as itself' my current ideology is such. Also, I believe the definition of nerd doesn't need sexual element (or rather I use nerd as such term) and think sexual exploitation is extremely matter for nerd, especially for drawing person.
Twitterous Way
Same as head of this sentence, recently my using of twitter is seems too radical almost stupidly for just another drawing person, due to our fucking world, so I wanna use more active here to do such writings, for reason also that some X user transfering other place such as Bluesky completely or partly, even ones I know.
That's all. It became kinda more ideological than wrote in japanese but personal ideology is just important stuff maybe. See-ya!
26.3.9(Mon)
Remains of Red Chamber's Dream
Yesterday, I joined Touhou Koromu the event in Osaka as my circle. It's my first time of act as individual circle, I'm so enjoyed.
My space
Books I made
Sold them quite more than I thought, and I got a sense. Face to face is so good..
Books I bought
I was so serious for my circle, so memory is kinda foggy and obscure like a dream - but absolutely can called illusion, as strong reality!!
Kagero, from illust on free paper.
Next event I join is GAME ANTIQUE 2025 in nov 23(Sun) at Osaka.
25.10.13(Mon)
Don't give up, I tell you
Today, when I heard Germany, at the same time I evoke zionism, racism or suppression - Suppression of Speech! Fuckin' racists seem to learned nothing but eugenic trash from experience of Nazis, while I studied rage against such shit from Thrash Metal.
Thrash Metal - Of course, it's part of counter culture. I have kinda feeling that it's lost the strength as early of the genre while originators became big name, however it's still has the energy that saves our sanity. Although present releases maybe good, I - kinda nostalgist - wanna display two masterpieces of early 90's German Thrash in my opinion..
Entophyte - "End of Society's Sanity" (1992)
This indiscribable - clearly Surrealistic - cover art shall represents lyrical but uncanny, anxiety filled atmosphere of the sound. Melodious leads, "almost melancholic" vocal and mindless riffs crossing to emanate complex feelings that distopic.
The band name, Entophyte, means "Any plant growing as a parasite within another organism. Also, a vegetable parasite subsisting in the interior of the body". Re-released in 2019 from Awakening Records (China), I refered its booklet for this article.
Track 1 - End of Society's Sanity :About to realize what's hiding behind "a seeming intact world" - Cruelty, misery, prejudice and lies. So guilty suffocates us, insane we will "ignore the end of sanity" to be insensible - Such context seems as same as today's our world. Deception has never died.
Track 2 - Rat Race :Wriggling riffs with middle tempo, have depressive feelings throughout the song. Vocal sounds like "moanful", crying for release from his hell. Tensional and kinda addictional song.
Track 3 - Random Victims (Potential kiilers) :People who alienated by the "fuckin' better society" often commit a crime, but their kind is also victims of prejudice. Such themes also still alive in modern society, this song maybe gives us a mind which for resist to such a structure. This article's headline is quorted from the lyrics - "Ideology spinning it's net Trying to force us to swim with the stream But don't give up, I tell you"
The Art of Legendary Tishvaisings - "Catharsis" (1991)
This also, the cover art is strong - although there's a need to beware to fall into lookistic mindset by objectifying of such representations - gaudily illuminated flesh and face full of agony or misery in the dark, bring senses of mental confusion with the sound. Spitting vocals and melodic guitar phrases are bizarrely crossing, and bass also sometimes lyrically behaves. Take us to the Backwoods of mind with aggressive, kinda funny, but sometimes melancholic atmosphere.
Re-released by Vic Records in 2024, its including all tracks of the EP "Trief..." ('90). I don't know lyrics btw, because the booklet doesn't have them. So this writing might be simple, but I love this album as same degree as above one.
Track 2 - Gotta Bad Taste :After the intro track, comfort mid-tempo sound has gloomy mood. You'll get Bad Taste.
Track 5 - Midnitemeattrain :You forced to ride the Train, it's rapid express runs through riffs and leads.
Track 6 - Total Sellout :Crying vocal, exquisite expand structure and almost dramatic flow from chorus to guitar solo. Most melodious song in this album I think. Catharsis will come.
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Both albums you can listen and buy at Bandcamp, I wish you interested to them - however you feel about my words. But, thank you for read my poor text!
And Germany has other great bands - such as Rage, Protector, Blood, etc. it's interesting that digging German Metal if you like, maybe.
If you have knowledges about current good band or opinion for this article, please send to me.
25.6.12 (thu)
Notification and Explanation
Notification: I start this website. Explanation: I start this with fresh mind. Writing HTML is interesting, and sense of create the space itself is feels good.
My twitter acc has got over 1,600 followers... at least on numbers. it doesn't matter how followers I have, Thank you for watch my drawings or have interest! and I wish my followers have rage against every injustice.
And my tweet style is stupid - in Eng, write with brain and supported by translator and dic, so feel not bad - but in Japanese, I have senseless shame to write "normal" text. And recently have no cause to Eng tweet I feel.
Japanese - Idk in other languages - Twitter space has littlely perverted atomosphere - close to cinicism, (ugly) nerds have power, etc. Recently I several times mention about social topics more than last year, it's also hard that balancing social/personal senses.
Thus, I wanna more personal space - of course inside of public dimension - so I made this. Here's kinda difference with Japanese page, both texts I wanted to mean. I don't know how is personal website in overseas, but I have kinda nostalgia for such place, as part of Japanese nerd. Feel surreality.
